Today’s weather was unseasonably balmy—tempting people to go outside to enjoy the unexpected warmth before the temperature plummets and winter settles in.

At lunchtime, I joined lots of other jovial folks at tables and benches in an urban garden plaza where we all soaked up the sun.  Most of us were strangers, but the mood was chatty and good natured. The weather brought out the best in us.

That is, until three adult males strolled into our midst and soured the mood. The seats of their baggy pants were pulled down so low their undies were in 3/4 view—you know the look.

As many of us watched them saunter through the plaza, I wondered about this crude fashion statement. Why would grown-up men choose to dress like this?

You’d think that once we hit the age of 25 or at least the age of 30; we’d move beyond the Age of Rebellion.  And as mature adults, we’d understand that just as we are what we eat, we are what we wear.

So, does our country need some kind of dress code?  Of course not.  

But why do so many adults parade around in the most inappropriate get-ups—inappropriate for the occasion and for their age?  What do they see when they look in the mirror? 

Or have some of us become so self-centered that we just see ourselves and don’t care at all what other people think of us? 

Or has the need for personal attention or notoriety become so extreme in our country that people will wear anything to get attention? 

What’s behind this?

Here’s a trick you can try at home—and maybe only there:
 A 40-something looking woman on my bus the other day was chatting on her cell phone when, suddenly, another phone rang. It was also hers! She reached into her purse, pulled out her second mobile and stuck it against her available ear. Then, this skilled multi-tasker began juggling two separate conversations coming at her from both sides of her face.
Was she a telephone operator in training? Or just practicing her SNL tryout?
I had to bite my lip to avoid laughing.
Fortunately, she kept her voice lower than many cell phone users do. So we didn’t have to hear her latest workplace woes or what time she could exit her hairdresser’s salon to meet up with her date. Normally, cell phone users on busses, trains and in airports are what I call ‘the Megaphones’: With their who-cares attitude toward the public, they inflict their life’s story on who’s ever nearby and isn’t stone deaf.
But they’re nowhere near as annoying as the ‘Pavlov’s Dogs.’ Responding brainlessly to the ringing of a bell, these folks answer their cell phone anytime–even when they’re not alone. And their companion? He or she gets shut out of this new conversation.
Sure, cell phones are the “in” toys of the 21st Century. But do people have to answer every call, especially when they’ve got company? And: Why would someone even want to juggle two calls at the same time?
Please tell us what you think.

The next time I visit my friend Cindy—if there is another time—I plan to ask her to wear the following: a long velvet dress in purple, an ermine stole, a tiara on her light brown tresses. And she should carry a bejeweled scepter, placed in her right hand. The look would be spot-on for a monarch like Cindy.

After our last visit, I finally realized that Cindy was born to the throne and all of its trappings. When she invited me to her birthday bash early this past summer, I happily bought my airfare to attend it. I also brought her a big gift. And after the party, I emailed Cindy a wad of digital photos I had taken at her party.

The response: Dead silence. Not only did Cindy fail to thank me for the birthday gift—or even for flying out to her party—but after opening the emailed photos she also didn’t even click “reply” to acknowledge receiving them. Evidently, the queen felt entitled to the homage she’d received.

Yet, how long would it have taken to say thank you? Max 30 minutes to hand-write a note and post it. But who’s asking for all that bother? In this age of lightening-fast communications, I would have been thrilled with a two-minute phone call. Or, I’d been happy to receive an emailed thank-you note, which would have consumed all of 15 seconds to compose and send.

But I don’t plan to make the same mistake twice: The lesson I’ve learned is that it’s better to shower gifts on people who appreciate the gestures. And too bad for the entitled aristocracy: The more they fail to acknowledge generosity, the less of this largesse they’re bound to receive.

In today’s world, outrageous acts get you big-time media play. The more obnoxious the act, the more attention it draws. Think Bernie Madoff. Even the rants of Rush Limbaugh.

Indeed, cameras love to drool over those baddies in entertainment: After Kanye West recently burst onto the stage of the Video Music Awards to declare that Taylor Swift shouldn’t be the recipient of her prize, he was showered with publicity.

The message we’re being given: The worse the act, the more it delivers fame, TV interviews, maybe a best-selling book and perhaps even more glorification in Hollywood.

And who’s to say no? Unless you commit a legally defined crime, few rules will cramp your style in a dog-eat-dog world where traditional social norms and religious tenets hold ever less sway.

Of course, most of us aren’t victims of mega-crimes. But in today’s me-first-and-only world, it’s common to confront hurtful, rude and insidious behavior from those around us: neighbors, colleagues at work, friends and yes, even relatives. And although this takes a toll on us, today’s lack of social boundaries means that whoever inflicts pain on us can escape without guilt.

So that’s where Get Civilized.net comes in. In our 12 Commandments, we’re spelling out rules for behavior in the 21st Century. We’re seeking a dialogue that can change the public’s mounting me-first-and-only mindset. Tell us what you think. Let us know how you feel about the way we are treating each other. We want your participation in this campaign for positive change. Become an American who cares.